we just won't be defeated

week one

I'm gonna keep this short, because my fantasy football season starts in about half an hour and I've got some last minute cramming to do.  I've got scores to settle with Dabysan and Cap'n Crunch.  In other news: I never thought I'd say this, but I wish I could still link to Cap'n Crunch.  I miss his incoherent rambling.  I always enjoyed trying to decipher his prose.  It made me feel like a spy.
 

Week One

Miles Run: 8 miles

Long Run: 3 miles

Average Pace: 11:30

 

batting cleanup

I have some more evidence that I didn't always hate birthdays.  My sisters and I all have birthdays within two weeks of each other.  That in and of itself is not a problem.  My mother reminded me recently, however, that what was a problem - at least for me - was that Sister #1 celebrated her birthday a week before mine.  I was the oldest, so by childhood logic my birthday should come first.  That doesn't make much sense now, and there's a decent argument to be made that it shouldn't have made sense in 1980 either.

But here's the thing: today is the last of three August birthdays (coincidentally, their spacing is off mine and my sisters' by only one day) and for the third straight year Scottie gets short shrift just because he falls last in the batting order.  I always struggle to come up with something to say by the time we get to this one.  And even now I've spent the whole birthday post blabbing about myself.  I am such a deadbeat uncle.  Here's wishing you the best today anyway, Scottie!  Have a great fourth birthday!
 

Scottie

the hotrod's dictionary

Wordsmithing  \'wərd-smiθ-iŋ\  n.  The act of writing, as described by one who cannot.

doo doo doo doo doo

When I look back on my life, I realize that I've done some great things.  I wrote the great American novel.  I discovered cold fusion.  I co-founded a beloved karaoke contest.  It's been an enjoyable life so far, but I haven't done the one thing I've wanted to do more than anything.  Reproduce?  Contribute to society?  Win the respect and admiration of my peers?  Nah, I don't care for that stuff.  What I want to do is this....

I want to compile a list of all the pop songs that feature "doo-doo-doo" in the lyrics, edit them for quality, and then compile the best ones into a collection called The Doo-Doo Box Set.  I think it's why I'm alive.  I've thought about doing The Doo-Doo Box Set for years, but I've never taken the time.  I once had a playlist in iTunes consisting of a few doo-doo songs, but I lost it when my computer died last year.  Well, it's time to rebuild my list.  It's time to fulfill my destiny.

I'm basically starting from scratch here and would greatly appreciate any suggestions.  Do you know any doo-doo songs?  If so, please leave a comment or send me a message with artist and title information.  I promise to thank you in the extensive hand-written liner notes that will accompany the box set.

Wilco - Thank You, Friends

Okay, fine.  This endeavor hasn't exactly been my lifelong dream.  It's only been my lifelong dream since March, when I saw Wilco at the Strathmore Theater.  The concert was less than two weeks after Alex Chilton died, and they closed their main set with a timely cover of a doo-doo song: Big Star's "Thank You, Friends."  It was one of the most joyous moments in all of my concert-going experiences.  I want to share that joy, and The Doo-Doo Box Set is my means to do so.  Yes, there is the likelihood that I will be hailed as a visionary, as nothing like this undertaking has ever been attempted before.  But I'm not doing this for personal glory.  I'm just a humble man who wants to share some songs with nonsensical lyrics.  Is that so wrong?

Big Star - Thank You, Friends / The Police - De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da / The Rolling Stones - Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker) / The Beatles - Happiness Is a Warm Gun / Lou Reed - Walk on the Wild Side / Suzanne Vega - Tom's Diner / Wilco - How to Fight Loneliness / Creedence Clearwater Revival - Lookin' Out My Back Door* / Simon and Garfunkle - Mrs. Robinsonⁿ / Sir Lord von Raven - Take It or Leave It∞ / Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Do You Love Me? (Part 2)∞ / Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Jangling Jack∞ / Brendan Benson - Life in the D‡ / Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are for Assholes™ / The Sleepy Jackson - Old Dirt Farmer∞ / The Sleepy Jackson - (Just Like) Starting Over∞ / Raffi - Banana Phone* / Crosby, Stills, and Nash - Suite: Judy Blue Eyes* / David Bowie - Rebel Rebel∞ / Paul Weller - Roll Along Summer∞ / The Chameleons UK - Inside Out∞ / Van Morrison - Jackie Wilson Said (I'm in Heaven When You Smile)♪ / Dexy's Midnight Runners - Let's Get This Straight (From the Start)♪ / The Jam - Burning Sky♪ / Cherry Twister - Sparkle‡ / Delays - Wanderlust‡ / Junip - Always∞ / Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band - Express Yourself∞ / The Clientele - I Wonder Who We Are‡ / Gomez - Win Park Slope∞ / Kinky - I Say Hey∞ / The Beach Boys - God Only Knows* / The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations* / The Old 97's - The Villain / The New Pornographers - Chump Change / The New Pornographers - Mass Romantic

* Nominated by Mariser

ⁿ Nominated by FS

∞ Nominated by Crankypants

‡ Nominated by Silverchimes

™ Nominated by M-----l
♪ Nominated by Homebody

i only pretend to be a deadbeat uncle

Sister #1 called me out yesterday.  I guess she felt that she had to remind me about today's birthday.  I can't for the life of me imagine why that would be.  The thing is, though, that August birthdays are easy.  Not that I remember the specific days, mind you, but I remember early in the month that I have to look them up again and put them in my calendar.  And then I have to look up how old everyone is.  And that why I can extend heartfelt birthday wishes to Midge today on her fourth, fifth, or sixth birthday.  Okay, okay - I'm kidding!  I know you're five today, Midge!  Have a wonderful birthday!
 

Midge

prologue, week three

This week was sort of a step backward, and under other circumstances I might focus on that.  But I'm trying out this thing I heard about in which I don't always and automatically look for the worst in any given situation.  I think it's called "Optimus Prime."  So the bright side is that I didn't do any two-mile runs this week.  And not only that, but I ran more slowly - which is good because....  uh....  Hmmm.  It's good because....  Oh, I know!  It's good because I'm less likely to get injured if I'm barely moving faster than a brisk walk!  Man, this rules.  Optimus Prime is the BEST!!!

This, by the way, is the last week of the prologue.  The official training season kicked off Saturday with a breakfast.  Which I skipped.  This bodes well.  If I didn't know any better, I might assume I don't really want to run a marathon after all.  We'll see how the first scheduled group run goes this coming Saturday.  I'd say somebody should start a pool on whether or not I'm going to make it out, but who would bet that I actually do?
 

Prologue, Week Three

Miles Run: 6 miles

Long Run: 3 miles

Average Pace: 11:25

 

who knows where the time goes?

 

Karaoke to the Death

 

One of the surest indications that one is getting older is that the mere passage of time becomes fascinating.  And since I officially entered the ass-end of my thirties this year, I've been feeling kinda old.  But a sure-fire way to feel young again - at least for an evening - is to gather in a seedy dive bar and drink like a champion while mocking all my friends.  I can hardly believe we're halfway there already.  If the past six months are any indication, Presidents' Day 2011 is right around the corner.  Excelsior!

let's all bask in tv's warm, glowing warming glow

I was discussing The Simpsons with a friend the other day.  We agreed - and I recognize that this isn't exactly a controversial opinion - that it's the best television show ever, but I was pleasantly surprised to learn that her favorite moment was from one of the "Treehouse of Horror" Halloween specials.  You can tell a lot about a person by their position on the "Treehouse of Horror" episodes because the Halloween episodes are the one opportunity in which the writers truly know no bounds.  When The Simpsons was at its prime, the "Treehouse[s] of Horror" were the best of the best.

My favorite moment from the best of the best is "The Shinning" - a parody of one of the best movies ever from "Treehouse of Horror V".  The singular line - uttered by Homer and which is the title of this post - is both an indictment of modern American culture and a grammar joke.  (And a redundancy joke, at that.)  I will never write anything as clever as that line.  Ever.  I'm okay with that.

Which brings me to today's shameless plug.  I've been following a blog about television off and on for a couple of years now.  It takes its name from the exact same moment of The Simpsons I checked above, but I hadn't been willing to commit fully because, well, it's about television.  And I don't watch a lot of television.  I do appreciate, however, good writing and I appreciate even more a strict adherence to proper grammar.  Just today, two separate posts covered homophones and misplaced modifiers.  So as of now, I am officially bookmarking Warming Glow.  Who knows - I might even learn a little something about how everyone else spends their free time.

we'll take potpourri for $100, alex

Days like today are difficult for us.� We see at least three blog-worthy items in the news, but there's no way we're going to get to them all while they're still timely.� We could not mention any of them (and let's face it - that's our default response in these instances), or we could lump them all together into one half-assed post.� If you guessed half-assed, you'd be right.� We're feeling especially uncreative, so we'll even bullet point this shit.

• The Wrens released a new - though unfinished - song today.� We're more than a little shocked.� We see on their Facebook feed that they've been working on new material, but they've been saying that for the past seven years.� This is supposed to appear on their next album, but those of us who don't want to wait until we're fifty to hear it can pick up a copy of the upcoming Dear New Orleans benefit disc.� Or listen here.
  The Wrens - Crescent
• The role of Elizabeth Salamander has been filled in David Fincher's remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.� Meet Rooney Mara.� She has kind of an unusual name - until you realize that her great-grandfather is NFL legend and beloved owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers: Art Rooney.� I'm sure that's why she got the gig.� Everybody loves the Steelers.� I guess she's also related to some other NFL owner.� Some team in New York?� That'd be the Bills, huh?
• A recent Zagat survey has rated local-chain-made-good Five Guys as the best fast food burger in America.� (This is actually yesterday's news, but we weren't about to bump Rushmore down the page on her birthday.)� The In-N-Out people are not pleased, but if they don't like it they should make a better burger.� We remember when there were just three Five Guys stores - one of which was half a block from our house.� Also, we used to serve the guys their coffee.� They're really nice people and we congratulate them.� They deserve it.
  
• And this last item is really old news, but in keeping with the title of this post, here's that video of drunk and swearing Alex Trebek.� Frankly, we're starting to get annoyed with this asshole for not yet returning our call.� It's been eight months.� What's the goddamn holdup?
  Alex Trebek Drunk

being a kid is hard work

Believe it or not, I do remember when I thought birthdays were a big deal.  That's why I can commiserate with my niece.  She's had a rough week, living under the threat that her seventh birthday will be ignored.  These are the times when being an uncle really pays off.  I, for one, don't care how cluttered her bedroom is and I don't care if she never cleans it up.  I'm still going to celebrate.  Happy birthday, Rushmore!  Have a wonderful day being just as messy as you want to be!
 

Rushmore