the spite locker

Yesterday I got to thinking about all the things that other people have ruined.  There are many, many things that might otherwise be enjoyable or have some merit but for their their gross overvaluation, their ubiquity, or their fawning acolytes.  (Or - usually - some combination of the three.)  It occurred to me that this list has never been compiled in one place.  I aim today and henceforth to rectify that situation.  And so, following is a partial list of things that are not worth your time.  Consider this a work in progress.

American Idol
Animal Collective

Anthony Bourdain

Apple

Austin, Texas

Astana

bacon
Baja Fresh
birthdays

Brooklyn, New York
Boba Fett

Boston Red Sox
bow ties

camping
cherry blossoms

Christmas
Cincinnati Bengals

Clerks

contemporary short stories
Crowded House

cupcakes
Dave Eggers

Dazed and Confused
Del Ray
Eastern Market
eating outside

eggplant

Ethan Hawke
Fark.com
fireworks

fixies
flat-panel televisions
Foo Fighters
Foursquare
Frank Gehry
Frank Lloyd Wright
The Fratellis
golf
GPS
graphic novels
Gwyneth Paltrow

Halloween
happy hour
hotrod.vox.com
internet slang
Irish bars

Japan
kickball

King Library

Kings of Leon
Kurt Vonnegut

Lance Armstrong
Ledo Pizza
LOLcats
Lord of the Rings movies
Lost

Megan Fox

Minnesota
Netflix

The New Pornographers
next-generation video game consoles

The Ohio State University
Old Town Theater
PabloPacoPicklePeanutPaintball Poptart
parades
Peeps
Penn State

pirates

puppies
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Scare Force One
Scott Pilgrim

shorts

Slumdog Millionaire

The Smiths
soccer
softball

spin class

Spoon
Subway
the sun
tacos

Team HTC
Tim Tebow
Twitter
U2
ultimate frisbee

University of Maryland basketball
U.S. men's Olympic hockey team

Washington Capitals

Washington Redskins

The Wire

yoga
zombies

Comments

[crankypants]

I really don't get Animal Collective, whenever I hear them they make my ears want to bleed.

Also, Austin, TX was better in the early 90s before it exploded.  But I would maybe put SXSW festival in there too, it was probably much better when it was smaller.

Puppies?

PUPPIES?

well, actually you're right because there are too many puppies, too many backyeard bredders, too many people who get puppies or dogs when they have no business doing so.  So, yeah, that's right on.  Especially chihuahuas.

what is 'fixies'?

[hotrod]

Specifically, this puppy - but why not lump them all in there?  I almost listed "dogs" (because Alexandria is such an obnoxious dog town) until I remembered there's a certain pug I get along with.

Fixies are fixed-gear bicycles, and they're popular among people who are more concerned with their image than their bicycle.

[crankypants]

oh yeah, that puppy looks really hateable.

ah the hipster bike people.  every city's got em.  I live in the burbs  so I don't really witness this phenom too much. but craigslist is full of fighting about it if I recall.

[homebody]

What is wrong with Baja Fresh?

In addition to puppies, how can anyone hate cupcakes?!?

(and have cup-pies come on the DC-area scene yet?)

[M-----l]

I would like to add "hotrod.vox.com" to this list, please.

[hotrod]

That seems reasonable.

[mariser]

cakes >>>>>> cupcakes

[M-----l]

Thank you for making the addition.

By the way, although I disagree with some of your choices, I think this is a brilliant idea for a post.  I tried something similar once, but it soon became a bloodthirsty rant that wasn't fit for public consumption.

[hotrod]

This list is alphabetical, but if it was ranked cupcakes would be at the top of the list.  Then The Wire.

[hotrod]

I left out all the things I hate because they are inherently terrible.  Things like Family Guy and flip-flops and baseball caps on grown men and reality television.  That helped me keep my blood pressure down.

[Jodi]

You're so cool.

[homebody]

That's right!  And cake is superior to pie in most instances.

[Dabysan]

The pug in question spites puppies too. 

[Dabysan]

Also, I proudly count 10 items on this list that I'm directly responsible for, and several others that I had a hand in. It's a happy moment. 

[hotrod]

That may be why we get along so well.

[CarrieNation]

I'm responsible for 2, I believe. One of which is Animal Collective.

[hotrod]

You missed one.

[FS]

The notion that Ohio State has some redeeming qualities is, frankly, absurd.

[hotrod]

That's true.  But the fact remains that my adamant anti-Ohio State stance is more a reaction to Buckeye fans than to the institution itself.  You did remind me, though, that I forgot a school on my list the first time through.  Sorry, man.

[FS]

Cute.  I'll kill you last.

[Vanna]

This is all about you deciding there hasn't been enough disagreement as of late and stirring up pots. Interestingly, I agree with you on about half and disagree with you on about half. But it troubles me how strong my emotions are on both ends of the scale.

[hotrod]

Stirring up pots?!!?  I would do no such thing.  This is a public service.