we just won't be defeated

pony express dvd

I'll have more to say about this subject later this next month as a tough reality sets in, but this article about the link between the struggling US Postal Service and the (soon-to-be) struggling Netflix warms every last cockle of my cold and shriveled heart.  I want Netflix founder Reed Hastings to die in a fire.  Then I want all the proprietors of all the independent video stores he has driven out of business to converge on his grave and piss on his ashes.  Then I want the Postal Service to return to Hastings' family the check they mailed for his burial for insufficient postage.  Then I want the funeral home in question to charge his family a "late fee" of sorts for not disposing of his soiled and desecrated remains because they hadn't been paid in a timely manner.

In short, I want evil things to happen to Reed Hastings because he is an evil man who runs an evil company.  I don't want the Postal Service to fail, but if the failure of the USPS means the failure of Netflix then I guess I'm okay with it.  This is what all those patriots were talking about when they suggest that we ask not what we can do for ourselves.

wilco will love you baby

We're a little far from the stage, but I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation.

IMG00396.jpg

songs from the big chair

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

the spite locker

Yesterday I got to thinking about all the things that other people have ruined.  There are many, many things that might otherwise be enjoyable or have some merit but for their their gross overvaluation, their ubiquity, or their fawning acolytes.  (Or - usually - some combination of the three.)  It occurred to me that this list has never been compiled in one place.  I aim today and henceforth to rectify that situation.  And so, following is a partial list of things that are not worth your time.  Consider this a work in progress.

American Idol
Animal Collective

Anthony Bourdain

Apple

Austin, Texas

Astana

bacon
Baja Fresh
birthdays

Brooklyn, New York
Boba Fett

Boston Red Sox
bow ties

camping
cherry blossoms

Christmas
Cincinnati Bengals

Clerks

contemporary short stories
Crowded House

cupcakes
Dave Eggers

Dazed and Confused
Del Ray
Eastern Market
eating outside

eggplant

Ethan Hawke
Fark.com
fireworks

fixies
flat-panel televisions
Foo Fighters
Foursquare
Frank Gehry
Frank Lloyd Wright
The Fratellis
golf
GPS
graphic novels
Gwyneth Paltrow

Halloween
happy hour
hotrod.vox.com
internet slang
Irish bars

Japan
kickball

King Library

Kings of Leon
Kurt Vonnegut

Lance Armstrong
Ledo Pizza
LOLcats
Lord of the Rings movies
Lost

Megan Fox

Minnesota
Netflix

The New Pornographers
next-generation video game consoles

The Ohio State University
Old Town Theater
PabloPacoPicklePeanutPaintball Poptart
parades
Peeps
Penn State

pirates

puppies
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Scare Force One
Scott Pilgrim

shorts

Slumdog Millionaire

The Smiths
soccer
softball

spin class

Spoon
Subway
the sun
tacos

Team HTC
Tim Tebow
Twitter
U2
ultimate frisbee

University of Maryland basketball
U.S. men's Olympic hockey team

Washington Capitals

Washington Redskins

The Wire

yoga
zombies

dare to be stupid

Funny Or Die has maybe the worst name of any website ever, because most of the stuff you can find there is not - what's the word.... funny.� I have this theory that I may someday get around to posting about Web 2.0 being the death of comedy.� Or maybe I'll just summarize it here.� In short, nobody on the internet is half as funny as they think they are (including me) and giving those people (including me) a public forum for their unfunny jokes and videos automatically lowers the bar for everyone.� For every installment of the smooth comedy of Yacht Rock or the unintentional comedy of Jodi attempting to write about grown-up food, there are a dozen Family Guy mashups or white guys rapping about suburbia.� We get it: it's funny because it's incongruous.� NOT!

All of that is a long-winded way of saying that even though this fake trailer for a "Weird Al" biopic may not deliver as many yucks per minute as your average episode of Between Two Ferns, it's got mad production values.� And production values go a long way.� Also - I would totally go see a "Weird Al" Yankovic biopic.� I only hope it comes out - wait for it.... in 3D.� Hello?� Is this thing on?

"Weird: The Al Yankovic Story" from Aaron Paul

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

photos from my bike

It occurred to me recently that I completely forgot to mention that I'm planning on riding my bicycle around Lake Tahoe again this coming June.  Maybe it's because of the weather - we got a late start to our training because of the February blizzards and then missed another couple of weeks - or maybe it's because I'm a slacker.  Whatever the reason, it's time to rectify this situation.

So yeah - I'm planning on riding my bicycle around Lake Tahoe again this June.  And since I want to at least try to form some coherent thoughts about my Saturday training rides, I figure I need some sort of gimmi-   I mean, hook... on which to hang a narrative.  Last year, I posted maps of my training rides.  But we're doing most of the same rides this year, so that's obviously not going to work.  Then I realized: I carry my camera most of the time now, so I should post a defining picture of each week's ride and talk about that.  I have no idea how this is going to work out; it's probably a stupid idea.

Beach Drive

This first one is from a couple of weeks ago, because I am a deadbeat slacker.  It's Beach Drive, in Rock Creek Park.  I don't often ride here, so I am always amazed by how remote it can sometimes feel.  It's right in the heart of the District of Columbia, but there are areas which seem like the middle of nowhere.  In other news, I should spend more time in Rock Creek Park.  It's way more convenient than some of the other places I've gone when I wanted to feel totally alone.

lemon grass and chili

Hotrod's Rules for Life, #911:  If a Vietnamese restaurant serves you vegetarian fake fish because they're out of the vegetarian fake chicken, don't let them tell you it's all the same because they're both vegetarian options.  Send that shit back and order the fake shaky beef.  Make sure you wash it all down with some sickeningly sweet bubble tea in a vain effort to kill the fish taste.

a man called destruction

There are music fans who like cover songs because they believe those songs offer a glimpse through an artist's carefully constructed public facade.  I am not one of those music fans.  I think cover songs are an integral part of that carefully constructed facade, and most often reinforce our preconceived notions about an artist.  That's why I have no doubt that Alex Chilton was an untortured genius.

Alex Chilton was the driving artistic force behind one of the best and one of the worst records in my collection, and I don't think that would have bothered him.  Alex Chilton was the opening act in one of the worst concerts I have ever seen, and I don't think that would have bothered him.  He was literally booed off the stage, and it sure didn't seem like that bothered him.  His last studio album was called Loose Shoes and Tight Pussy, and since no A&R guy on the planet would insist on that title I can only assume that it was his idea.

Alex Chilton wrote some of the finest pop songs that have ever been recorded.  In fact, he wrote the best pop song that has ever been recorded.  But everybody is sharing those songs today.  I prefer to remember him gleefully playing an insipid cover as a crowd of rowdy frat boys (and three confused Big Star fans) booed him off the stage of the Masonic Auditorium in Toledo, Ohio.  I don't think this would bother him.

What's Your Sign Girl

Alex Chilton

pogue mahone

I fucking despise St. Patrick's Day.  So it's ironic enough that I chose to listen to the Pogues on my way home from work.  But it's even more ironic - if there are degrees of irony - that they put me in a great mood.  I don't know why that is.  Maybe just being bitter and spiteful all day has lifted my spirits.  Maybe I'm subconsciously reliving the joy of one of my more epic bails.  Whatever it is, I'll take it.  I've been kind of down the past few days.  I needed a lift.  Between the Pogues and getting absolutely shitfaced tonight, things are looking up for ol' Hotrod.

The Pogues - The Broad Majestic Shannon

true hollywood story

Mark this date on your calendar.  A year from now, when you are saying "Gee, hotrod.vox.com turned into a celebrity gossip blog so gradually I didn't even notice" I want you to remember March 15, 2010.

In other news: move over Zooey, you were always my second choice anyway.  Kate Winslet is single again.  Now's the chance I've been waiting for to make my move!

The future Mrs. Hotrod