On this, the opening day of the World Series (Go Rockies!) it seems only appropriate to discuss football. The Greatest Franchise in the History of All Sports released the roster of their All-Time Team today in honor of this, their seventy-fifth season. It is as follows, with official hotrod.vox.com commentary in italics.
OFFENSE:
Terry Bradshaw - Quarterback (1970-83) I love this man. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I don't even care that he's dumber than a bag of hammers. Everything is better with Terry Bradshaw.
Jerome Bettis - Running Back (1996-05) I'm not a "jersey guy," but after the Steelers won Super Bowl XL, I felt it my duty as a fan to buy a jersey. One could do far worse than a Bus jersey.
Rocky Bleier - Running Back (1968, 1970-80) Sadly, I remember Rocky Bleier primarily as the sports anchor of Channel 11 and not his football career. He went to Vietnam early in his career and had to rehabilitate after earning a Purple Heart. That automatically makes him the toughest Steeler on the list.
Franco Harris - Running Back (1972-83) I find it fitting that Jerome Bettis ranks number five on the All-Time list but still trails Franco for most yards while wearing black and gold. Franco deserves it. Seeing him in a Seahawks uniform was one of the saddest things ever.
Bennie Cunningham - Tight End (1976-85)
Elbie Nickel - Tight End (1947-57)
John Stallworth - Wide Receiver (1974-87) Justice has been done now that Stallworth is in the Hall of Fame.
Lynn Swann - Wide Receiver (1974-82) And he's there because of this guy. Swann used his own long overdue induction speech in part to stump for his teammate. It's shocking that it took either of them so long to get in. A former co-worker (and ***skins fan) once said in favor of Swannie: "Of course he should be in. He's all over NFL Films." I couldn't agree more. It's unusual to see such insightful analysis from a ***skins fan.
Hines Ward - Wide Receiver (1998-Present) Anybody who thinks Tony Romo "lead[s] the league in smiling" hasn't been watching enough of Hines Ward. I'm not too upset abut the slight, though, because that's a pretty stupid thing to say about any football player.
Larry Brown -- Offensive Tackle (1971-84)
Dermontti Dawson -- Center (1988-00) This was the first real surprise. It wouldn't be for most teams, but you'll see in a few seconds.
Alan Faneca -- Guard (1998-Present) Maybe this will convince the Rooneys that he is, in fact, worth it.
Tunch Ilkin -- Offensive Tackle (1980-92)
Jon Kolb -- Offensive Tackle (1969-81)
Mike Webster -- Center (1974-88) The offensive line are the most important positions on the team. When your back-up center is a Hall-of-Famer and consensus best ever, you're doing pretty well. Iron Mike literally gave his life to football. He deserved better.
DEFENSE:
Joe Greene -- Defensive Tackle (1969-81) I love Coca Cola.
L.C. Greenwood -- Defensive End (1969-81) L.C. is a victim. It's not his fault there are already a bunch of Steelers in the Hall of Fame. The Steelers are just better than every other team. Get him in there, pronto.
Casey Hampton -- Nose Tackle (2001-Present) I feel like I should have something to say about Casey, but I don't. He's the true rock of the Steelers 3-4 defense in that he doesn't call attention to himself.
Ernie Stautner -- Defensive Tackle (1950-63)
Dwight White -- Defensive End (1971-80)
Jack Ham -- Outside Linebacker (1971-82) His name is"Ham." Tee-hee. He's also a Hall-of-Famer and tougher than any linebacker that has ever played for your team.
Jack Lambert -- Middle Linebacker (1974-84) Jack Lambert is my all-time favorite Steeler. Chuck Noll drafted him after watching him practice making diving tackles in a gravel parking lot. He was tough as nails but never forgot what was important. Somewhere my parents have a picture of my sisters and me with Jack. He was nearer to the end of his career than the beginning, but he recognized that making time for those who adored him for what he did on the football field could make a memory that lasts a lifetime.
Greg Lloyd -- Outside Linebacker (1988-97) I used to have (actually I still do, it's just not hanging on my wall any more) a picture of Greg Lloyd and Rod Woodson labeled "Chaos and Mayhem." I forget who was who. Ah, good times.
Joey Porter -- Outside Linebacker (1999-2006) This is what having a big mouth gets you.
Andy Russell -- Outside Linebacker (1963, 1966-76)
Mel Blount -- Cornerback (1970-83)
Jack Butler -- Defensive Back (1951-59)
Carnell Lake -- Safety (1989-98)
Troy Polamalu -- Safety (2003-Present) Po-la-ma-lu. Doo doo doo doo doo. And he's the toughest safety currently in the NFL.
Donnie Shell -- Safety (1974-87)
Rod Woodson -- Cornerback (1987-96) Of all the free-agent losses in the early years of the nineties, this one hurt the most. You're not supposed to let players this good get away.
SPECIAL TEAMS:
Gary Anderson -- Kicker (1982-94) What? No David Trout?
Bobby Walden -- Punter (1968-77) Seriously? This is the only guy on the list that I've never even heard of. Special Teams mistakes can kill you. I sure hope he doesn't screw it up for us.
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