i know, i know.... it may seem like i'm piling on, but i am guided by a greater power here. i have a mission. soccer is just the worst and if, at the end of my life, i could look back and know that i played but a small role in the elimination of its great scourge on our society i would die a happy man. you're wrong for liking it - you know who you are - and you should be ashamed of yourselves.
probably my very favorite story about soo doh nim, of all there are from which to choose, is that of the day he was holding forth on parenting in the smoking room of misha's. i don't recall what exactly was said, but it was something along the lines of questioning the masculinity of future sons. soo said whatever he said, and dabysan muttered not-so-much under his breath, "there's a kid that will never know how to throw a football." soo lowered his steely gaze, paused for effect, and with an effete flick of his wrist gestured with his cigarette and replied cattily, "i can throw a fucking football." never before in the history of speech had a single sentence so utterly undermined its intended outcome, and it's possible one never will.
as it happened, a few weeks later at the challenge of doc paradox, soo showed up at our weekly football game and as it turned out, he could throw a fucking football. we were shocked. what's more shocking (or not, actually) is that soo can throw a fucking football better than that of professional - heh - "athlete" david beckham, as the video below will clearly illustrate. i just can't wait to see the ones where beckham is tested on his vertical leap or bench press reps or forty meter dash or any other empirical measure of athletic ability, really.
incidentally, has any reading in any commercial ever been delivered with less conviction that that with which reggie bush delivers his last line? it's fortunate for reggie he's an athlete, because he's certainly not going to cut it as a thespian. oh, and speaking of those pick-up football games, it appears as if becks learned how to play defense from dabysan.
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